Disgraced
by T Stark
Summary: There have always been whispers. Accusations that Thorin's sister had a secret. A secret regarding the paternity of her youngest son. And when the subject is brought up, Kili does not take kindly to it. And Fili must then find his brother, and assure him that he is, and always will be, family. ONE-SHOT


It had been another long day on this long, perilous journey. But, though the odds had been against them, the entire party had escaped with only minor injuries. Though, to be honest, they had seen worse. They'd been going about their path, only to disturb a pack of wolves. But, as previously mentioned, everything had turned out okay.

But Bilbo wasn't quite over the incident yet. He hardly got any sleep anymore, and tonight was no exception. Each time he closed his eyes, he saw the countless battles he'd been witness to flash in his mind. Gandalf's words had never sounded more accurate. "You will not be the same."

Carefully stepping around the sleeping dwarves, he took a seat next to Bofur, who was currently keeping watch. For a long few minutes, there was silence, which was all but unbearable. "Fought well today. Everyone. I saw Kili take out a good number of wolves. Twelve, at least." He was sure to keep his voice down slightly, as not to wake the others.

Bofur nodded, a small smile on his face. "He's good with a bow, that one. It's to be expected, really, if you believe the rumours."

"Rumours?" Bilbo looked up at him. He hadn't heard any rumours, not any that he could recall. And he wasn't one to forget things like that.

Another nod, Bofur adjusting his hat slightly. "Don't tell me no one's mentioned it?" Bilbo simply shook his head. "Well, you look at Fili. Third youngest of our company. Kili came after, then Ori. But Ori's beard is longer than the other two, even though he's the youngest, yeah?"

"Yes, but I don't see-"

"It's widely known that Fili's father is part elf. That's why he has more difficulty growing facial hair. Now, before you say anything, I _am_ getting to the point." Bofur chose his words carefully. "They were born after we lost Erebor. Fighting for a home they never knew. Their mother was carrying Fili when it all happened. That being said, it was after tensions rose between our people and the elves. And, as time went on, people started to talk. Said they saw their mother sneaking off in the middle of the night. Kili came along after that."

Bilbo furrowed his brow. "So... you think she was...?"

Bofur glanced over at the young dwarf in question, who was laying with his back to them. "Look at him. Taller than the rest of us, almost no beard, skilled with a bow. I'm surprised you didn't suspect it before this."

It was a lot to think about. Bilbo dared to look back, as well, though only for a moment. "But no one knows for certain? If he is half elf?" Now he understood why no one had mentioned it. In the time they'd been together, he'd learned of the relationship between the two races, or rather, lack thereof. If it was true- and it seemed more and more likely- he understood why it would have been kept a secret, even if she had not been married.

"Might as well." They had both turned back around now, not noticing Fili's eyes opening. "It's obvious enough. Anyone could see it, if they bothered to look. No doubt Fili's father did, but he probably didn't want to admit that his wife had-"

Bofur's words were cut off as a rock slammed into the back of his head. Not a large one, but enough to draw a bit of blood. Both he and Bilbo flew to their feet, looking back at the threat. Kili was scrambling to stand up, Fili not far behind. The younger of the two rushed forward, shouting obscenities, and "How dare you make such accusations!", held back only by his brother, who was yelling for him to stop. By this point, everyone was awake and aware of the situation, though not what had led to it. Even Thorin, try as he may, could not manage to calm him. But after a minute or two of struggling, Kili seemed to realize that this was going to do nothing. For he stopped, his breaths ragged, Fili's hands never leaving him, just to be safe. "I'm sorry, laddie." Bofur had his hand on his head where the stone had impacted. "I didn't mean anything by it."

Silence. Brief, but seeming to go on for ages. Kili had a look in his eyes which could be described only as a cross between rage and despair. And, without a word, broke free from Fili's grasp, bolting off into the forest.

Only one attempted to stop him. "Kili!" His brother called out his name, sounding almost desperate as he did so. And only he ran off after him, but not before shooting Bofur a look. Not angry, but asking without words why he would say what he had.

Bilbo watched all of this, listened to even more silence as Thorin approached. He was, to be frank, terrifying when he was angry. Even when he wasn't angry with him. Their faces were so close, the hobbit was sure that this was going to end in a physical confrontation. "You will watch how you speak." His voice low and dangerous. "Tossing around your theories has led to two young boys running off in the night! If any harm comes to them, you will have no choice but to take blame!" Bofur simply nodded, his eyes locked onto the ground. "And do not forget, that even if what you believe is true, their mother is my sister. And you will not speak ill of her in my presence."

It was over then, Thorin moving back to his makeshift bed, along with the others. All but Bilbo and Bofur, who still stood in their places.

It could have been hours, it could have been only minutes. Kili didn't know, nor could he be bothered to find out. But he did eventually stop, listening to the sound of his name being called behind him.

"Kili!" Fili, his breathing slightly heavy, came up behind his brother.

But as he reached out his hand to place it on his shoulder, Kili swatted it away, turning to face him. "What?! What do you expect to gain by following me?!" Shouting, but not truly angry. Fili saw. He was hurting.

"Kili, please." Doing everything to keep his voice calm. "This isn't the first time you've heard this. Nor will it be the last. Why do you allow it to affect you?"

"Why do you not?" The younger's words shook. "They... they are insulting Mother! She would never betray Father in that way!"

But Fili wouldn't be accepting such a simple answer. "And is that the only reason?" Kili said nothing, unable to meet his eyes. And with that, he finally managed to place his hand on his younger brother's shoulder. "Kili. We know that we both have elven blood in our veins. This is fact. Father does not hide his lineage. He is not ashamed. Why should you be?"

"Because what if they're right?!" His eyes closing, Kili took a deep breath. For a moment, he only shook his head. "We don't belong anywhere. None of us do." He moved away once again. "We are off risking our lives for Erebor, a place we have never even laid eyes on before. And even if we do survive, even if we do defeat the dragon, it will _never_ be home! Not for me, not if what they say is true! _You_ will never have to be an outcast! You will never understand what it is like to potentially be a bastard child of what could be considered an enemy race!" Despite his best efforts, his eyes threatened to spill tears. "Just tell me, is it true?" He was trembling by now. "You must know, you must have even the faintest idea. If you- if you saw her... doing what they say."

Fili ran through his options for a moment. "There... was one night," He started, speaking slowly. "Father was away. Fighting in a war which I was too young to remember the name of. I noticed that she had been leaving without word, while she believed that I was asleep. I followed her into the forest to the east. She went to a clearing, and I heard her speaking with someone. And... he was an elf." What he did not say, however, was the fact that he could still picture the scene. And, as he looked at Kili now, he could pick out the similarities between the two. The eyes, the jawline...

It felt as if he had taken a sword to the gut. Unable to hold it back, Kili felt himself convulse slightly as a sob escaped his lips. His eyes were betraying him, making it so difficult to keep them dry. A thousand questions ran through his mind. But there was one which never seemed to leave him, repeating over and over again: _Who am I?_

Seeing that, it hit Fili in a place which he had not even been aware that he had until that moment. "Kili, look at me." He continued only after Kili did as instructed. "You think any of that matters? You think that a story, an insignificant presumption will hold any weight when it comes to how you are perceived?" Keeping his tone both firm and gentle. "Thorin has watched us grow, trained us to fight. He allowed us on this journey without even a second thought. Both of us. Even if it is true, he clearly is paying the matter no mind. Nor any of the others. Bofur was simply explaining, he said himself that he meant nothing by it." With that, he placed his left hand on his arm, the other behind his head in a kind, caring gesture. "But above all else, you are my brother, Kili. Never forget that." He offered a tiny smile. "And, if you still desire answers, if you still want to know for certain, you may ask Mother for yourself. In Erebor. When we are home."

Suddenly looking as if he had not slept in weeks, Kili looked down into Fili's eyes before resting his head on his shoulder. Fili embraced him, a nonverbal assurance that everything was going to be okay. That he would always be by his side. And after staying in that position for a time, he spoke once more, voice soft. "Come. The others will be wondering where we've been off to."

* * *

**Aaaagh, so I met Dean O'Gorman and Aidan Turner (Fili and Kili) at Boston Comic Con 2013, and they were so nice! But it makes this almost awkward to read now. Is that weird?**


End file.
